I’ve come to learn that I have not the best skin to expose to direct sunlight. So when I travel to sunny, beachy destinations, I put on my sunscreen factor 30, I open an umbrella and I move my lounger equally with the shade. At the end of the week, I have a nice tan that doesn’t scream DANGER!!! In your face.
So knowing that Duane Read was almost out of sunscreen today, and I had to settle with a factor 6… this…

Was a disaster waiting to happen.
In my defense, I wasn’t so much hunting a tan. I just wanted to read a bit, quietly upon my roofdeck… so at about 4pm, I posted this facebookstatus:

Still unaware of the horror that was awaiting me. Minutes later, I put on a top and some jeans, and left the house to fulfill yet another promise. Fully prepared…

Phone – incase I had to call someone to come save me. Metrocard – in case I arrived in Essex Street and needed a ride home. 20 dollars – in case I arrived in Essex Street and had no energy left to find the station and needed a cab. Sunglasses – because. Nikon – since it hasn’t done much work lately. Apple – because he actually does go everywhere with me. Water – because that’s a smart thing to do.
I was ready to walk the Williamsburg Bridge.

Pretty soon I saw a glimpse of my destination…

… and although I did think the placement of this add was a little cruel, not even halfway…

… I was doing perfectly fine, shooting up…

… right…

… and left.

Also, It’s pretty comforting that in case of an emergency, help would be up there shortly.

I didn’t exactly time it, but I crossed the East River pretty quickly. And alive…

… so I was like ‘huh… this was easy! Let’s walk back!’

After all, I did have plenty of stuff to read along the way…

But then, like right in the middle of the bridge… my legs started to hurt. Or better to say: the skin on my legs… the jeans was starting to rub the sunburned skin, and – oh. Fucking. Hell! – that stings. By the time I finally saw Brooklyn appear…

… I was certain that blood was dripping from my knees down. I didn’t think it’d be a smart thing to do to start crawling my way back, so I just kept going… And the fact that I actually did get back to the very point where I began…

Is what I call willpower.
Back home, I filled the bathtub with cold water and just sat in there for about three hours. Not so much because it was comfortable, or to also freeze myself to death, but simply because I couldn’t bend my knees no more and couldn’t get out of the tub. You don’t want to know how I got out (let’s just say it’s a good thing I do yoga…).
I’ve been rubbing my legs with aloe vera aftersun every 10 minutes since, in a way that I just throw a handful of cream at my legs and hope it lands well… It hurts even looking at them, let alone touching them… I had to fall backwards into my couch and sit as far back as possible to keep my legs straight… You don’t want to know how I’m writing this post (in my underwear in a VERY awkward and unattractive position…).
Bottomline: my roofdeck needs an umbrella or I’m just going to have to move…. To a place with no roofdeck. Also: don’t EVER get into your bathtub, unless you’re absolutely positive you’ll be able to get out. On your own.
PS: I don’t think there’s something left to add today.
PPS: oh… yes, I’m pretty much burned on every part of my body, but my legs hurt the most, and that’s kind of a distraction to all that other pain. Also, i’m high on valium.
PPPS: now can someone PLEASE bring me that Corona?
Tags:duane read, essex street, sunburned skin, williamsburg bridge