Dag 298 – like… ouch. Part 2

Against all odds, I had a good night of sleep. And I woke up rested and jolly… right until the moment where I swung my legs out of the bed.

See, this is what I know about sunburn: NOTHING! I know nothing about it. I just know that I can’t be IN the sun, and up until now, I’ve always managed to stick to my rule (which are not vampire rules… just in case you’re having doubts… but just FIY: don’t feed me after midnight either). So little did I know that it can take up to 24 hours for a sunburn to fully develop… I thought I was going to wake up all tanned this morning! But I hardly made it to the bathroom. And my knees looked like tomatoes – if tomatoes where purple-ish.

I managed to get to work (had to take the elevator at Marcy Station to avoid the stairs…). I managed to stay there till noon, or what I like to call ‘the moment where I wanted to cry a little’. and then I realized that I may not know much about sunburn, but I sure know a lot about 2012: it has technology and internet. So I went for a WFH…

 

And had my little office space on my dining table.

It worked out all right, really. Basically because I could wear shorts without freaking the crap out of people and I could run to the bathroom to take cold showers every 30 minutes. And possibly cry a little, too.

PS: on skype with my mom yesterday:

Me: oh, you know…  I was on the roof, reading… ooh, my knees are a little red!

Mom: be carefull! Use sunscreen!

Me: I will, I will.

In my defense:  I did.

PPS: today at work:

Tiena: I hope it’s better by Thursday…

Me: I’m sure it will be… why?

Tiena: you know… an 8 hour flight?

Me: …

Me: fuck

Me: WHERE IS THE ALOE VERA!?

PPPS: what I’ve learned from all of this:

Tags:aloe vera, cold showers, dining table, skype, vampire rules

Dag 298 – like… ouch

I’ve come to learn that I have not the best skin to expose to direct sunlight. So when I travel to sunny, beachy destinations,  I put on my sunscreen factor 30, I open an umbrella and I move my lounger equally with the shade. At the end of the week, I have a nice tan that doesn’t scream DANGER!!! In your face.

So knowing that Duane Read was almost out of sunscreen today, and I had to settle with a factor 6… this…

Was a disaster waiting to happen.

In my defense, I wasn’t so much hunting a tan. I just wanted to read a bit, quietly upon my roofdeck… so at about 4pm, I posted this facebookstatus:

Still unaware of the horror that was awaiting me. Minutes later, I put on a top and some jeans, and left the house to fulfill yet another promise. Fully prepared…

Phone – incase I had to call someone to come save me. Metrocard – in case I arrived in Essex Street and needed a ride home. 20 dollars – in case I arrived in Essex Street and had no energy left to find the station and needed a cab. Sunglasses – because. Nikon – since it hasn’t done much work lately. Apple – because he actually does go everywhere with me. Water – because  that’s a smart thing to do.

I was ready to walk the Williamsburg Bridge.

Pretty soon I saw a glimpse of my destination…

… and although I did think the placement of this add was a little cruel, not even halfway…

… I was doing perfectly fine, shooting up…

… right…

… and left.

Also, It’s pretty comforting that in case of an emergency, help would be up there shortly.

I didn’t exactly time it, but I crossed the East River pretty quickly. And alive…

… so I was like ‘huh… this was easy! Let’s walk back!’

After all, I did have plenty of stuff to read along the way…

But then, like right in the middle of the bridge… my legs started to hurt. Or better to say: the skin on my legs… the jeans was starting to rub the sunburned skin, and – oh. Fucking. Hell! – that stings. By the time I finally saw Brooklyn appear…

… I was certain that blood was dripping from my knees down. I didn’t think it’d be a smart thing to do to start crawling my way back, so I just kept going… And the fact that I actually did get back to the very point where I began…

Is what I call willpower.

Back home, I filled the bathtub with cold water and just sat in there for about three hours. Not so much because it was comfortable, or to also freeze myself to death, but simply because I couldn’t bend my knees no more and couldn’t get out of the tub. You don’t want to know how I got out (let’s just say it’s a good thing I do yoga…).

I’ve been rubbing my legs with aloe vera aftersun every 10 minutes since, in a way that I just throw a handful of cream at my legs and hope it lands well… It hurts even looking at them, let alone touching them… I had to fall backwards into my couch and sit as far back as possible to keep my legs straight… You don’t want to know how I’m writing this post (in my underwear in a VERY awkward and unattractive position…).

Bottomline: my roofdeck needs an umbrella or I’m just going to have to move…. To a place with no roofdeck. Also: don’t EVER get into your bathtub, unless you’re absolutely positive you’ll be able to get out. On your own.

PS: I don’t think there’s something left to add today.

PPS: oh… yes, I’m pretty much burned on every part of my body, but my legs hurt the most, and that’s kind of a distraction to all that other pain. Also, i’m high on valium.

PPPS: now can someone PLEASE bring me that Corona?

Tags:duane read, essex street, sunburned skin, williamsburg bridge

Dag 297 – I’ll go to Times Square and back for you… but I do have my limits.

Ik ben nogal geneigd om me aan mijn beloftes te houden… en aldus vandaag geschiedde:

Het duurde een hele voormiddag om mezelf te vermannen, en in een zomerjurkje en een oversized zonnebril op mijn neus naar Times Square te trekken en er de hordes toeristen te trotseren die er voor allerlei Memorial Day activiteit ook rondhingen. Toen ik deze geüniformde exemplaren in mijn blik- en gehoorveld zag verschijnen…

Verzuchte ik diep en dankte God. Want mannen in uniform, die er goed uitzien (een paar toch) én kunnen zingen… nouja, daar gaan mijn knieën geweldig van knikken, en ik moest me zowaar aan Sponge Bob vast klampen om me staande te houden.

Een verfrissing later (lees: één cinamon dolce latte en een beker ijswater over mijn hoofd gekieperd later) , waadde ik verder de mensenmassa in. Je moest uren in de rij staan om met het summum van het Amerikaanse leger en hun attributen op de foto te staan, dus ik bedankte vriendelijk voor een ticketje dat me een foto van mezelf met een helm en een bazooka (of zo) zou opleveren. Maar ik kreeg wél deze in het vizier…

Waarna ik al onderweg was om met een vriendelijke schoudertik om een groepsportret te verzoeken… maar het één en ander deed me besluiten dat de sailors ook hun minpunten hebben, en ik ze misschien maar niet moest verheerlijken tot stationsroman helden…

Na welgeteld 19 minuten Times Square, dook ik 43th street in naar 7th Avenue, en slenterde ik terug downtown… nou ja. Slenterde ik naar de dichtstbijzijnde metrohalte en nam de R naar Union Square, waar ik verrast werd door de tonen van Chopin (of zo…) en het nog maar eens bewezen werd dat ‘jong geleerd…’.

PS: verder vandaag – nog een treurige mededeling… één van mijn drie weken geleden verworven plantjes heeft er de brui aan gegeven.

Ik weet uberhaupt niet of ik het verdronken heb nadat ik bedacht dat het misschien een beetje heet was aan mijn zuidgericht raam, of dat het daar voor al te laat was…

PPS: mogelijk ga ik morgen te voet de Williamsburg Bridge oversteken. Het is maar dat je het weet. Voor het geval er morgen geen post verschijnt, en je besluit een reddingsoperatie op touw te zetten… ik bevind me zo’n 10m aan de voet van de brug voorbij.

PPPS: I heart NY… ik kan me nog steeds vergapen hier…

Dag 296 – Il bel far niente.

Oh glorie de dagen waarop ik ‘s avonds alle items van mijn ‘to do’-lijstje kan schrappen! Vooral als er helemaal niets op stond, en ik me daar dan ook heel erg strikt heb aan gehouden. Nadat we met z’n dertigen collectief een bijna-dood ervaring konden optekenen tijdens de yoga, besloot ik het voor vandaag absoluut voor gezien te houden, en me op het dakterras te parkeren met mijn zonnebril, drie liter water, een appel en een boek.

Het kwik steeg ongezien vandaag, en de  lucht was dik van vochtigheid. Van het soort waar je haar spontaan van in de krul slaat, en je billen aan de zetels van de trein zouden plakken, als je al van plan was er ene te nemen, en dat was ik vandaag vooral niet. Bewegen was quasi onmogelijk en als het niet van moeten was geweest, had ik het gerust een kwartiertje zonder ademhalen kunnen stellen.

Zo rond een uur of vijf was al mijn water op en/of verdampt, en besloot ik toch de bewegingen te maken die me naar de supermarkt brachten, waar ik minstens een kwartier met mijn hoofd tussen de diepvriesscampi’s heb doorgebracht, onder het mom van ‘need to make the right decision!’

Maar owee… want toen ik buiten stapte, verzamelden zich dikke, donkere wolken aan wat iets eerder nog een helblauwe hemel was…

En halverwege de weg naar huis, begon het te onweren… en in Amerika is alles groter, dus de regendruppels ook.

Wat wel een band schept, zo gezamenlijk onder een boompje staan schuilen. Ik heb minstens anderhalve nieuwe vriend gemaakt vandaag.

En dat stond niet eens op mijn lijstje!

 

PS: toen het nog zonnig was.

PPS: Er is een vloot sailors vermist. Wie ze vindt, mag ze naar Williamsburg zenden voor een fotoshoot.

PPPS: zonnecrème. Dat had misschien op mijn lijstje moeten staan…

Tags:right decision

Dag 295 – Press Pause.

I like the vibe on a Friday that announces a long weekend. We all got to leave work early today, and at 3.30 pm, I turned the lights off, closed the door and stepped outside… and suddenly felt exhausted. After working for 12 days straight, I’m all up for some rest.

Now, I know I promised to go kiss see some sailors, but I have three whole days of weekend ahead of me, so I’ll get there. And also… my colleague Tiena had my back on that one today…

 

So basically, I can watch them from my couch. And that’s what I call excellent teamwork.

 

PS: Thanks Tiena for saving today’s post!!

PPS: I did go to the Converse store, though, to buy my nieces their first pair of All Stars… but then the sizes and measurements didn’t correspond with what my little piece of paper said, and I was way too tired to do maths… so then off course I started annoying people in the kids section with “does this look like a size a two year old would wear?… No? How about  this?…What do you mean, ‘to little?’ They’re two!… how tall? Jeezz.. I don’t know, haven’t seen them in a couple of months… grow? They do?”

So yeah… I didn’t buy shoes yet. And my nieces will turn out to be giants when I go to visit Belgium next week.

PPPS: I did go for a walk in Chinatown…

It wasn’t so much a walk as a chase for apples, though.

Tags:chinatown, piece of paper, sailors

Dag 294 – Where shall I begin?

This morning I saw the Standard Hotel posting a picture on Facebook, that I promptly shared…

It’s Fleet Week. And that means tons of sailors are in town, wearing their crisp white uniforms and hell yeah I admit it: I dig a man in uniform. So I was totally up to relocate uptown and go spot me some marines… and then Christina forwarded an article that went a little like this: “plenty of men to date this weekend… especially for the gay community in the city.” So I replied: ‘Basically… I’m screwed’… to which Christina replied: ‘according to the article… yes.’

Don’t get me wrong, I love the gay community (North Carolina: let them get married already!) In fact, I’ve got so many “when we’re both 40 and single, I’ll marry you”-pacts with gay friends going on, that if I don’t get married by the time I’m 40, there’s going to be some serious b*tchslappin’ to be witnessed. I just wished there weren’t so many of them, you know… I mean: a whole fleet? Really!?

I’m still going to spot them this weekend, though. I’ll take pictures, and ladies, you can put your orders to have your poster printed at the bottom of this post!

Since there’s no pride and glory in dating a gay sailor, I decided to be a little pro-active on my ‘how about we…’ online dating profile, and I posted some dating suggestions… (read from the bottom up)

… that actually got responses to my own surprise… I don’t know how willing I am to date guys that either don’t get that I could be a drunk sailor spotter (with good taste in music, though), or either get turned on by that. I’d say ‘not willing at all’.

Conclusion: Darline, still no date to bring to your wedding in august, but I’m working on it.

Just not thàt well.

PS:

PPS: also today… chatting:

C: is it me, or are Dutch people extremely tall?

me: No, they are. their length is what they’re known for.

C: oh no you didn’t.

me: euhm…?

C: their hight is what they’re known for. Their lenght… well, that’s a completely different discussion.

Tags:facebook, fleet week, gay friends, gay sailor, man in uniform, pride and glory

Dag 293 – You’re about to find out how Luke Skywalker felt when he found out who his father was. Shocked.

This is not going to be easy. I’ll try my best to be gentle… but don’t shoot the messenger, though.

So… basically, this is what happened: we were talking about the use of social media for marketing and branding purposes, when Matt pointed out that on Klout.com, you can actually measure the influence that a company would have… and then I remembered that I have a Klout account, one I hadn’t visited in ages. So off course, I immediately surfed to my page, and when I logged in, it had this huge orange box screaming at me. It felt a little like being punished for something I didn’t do, so I went like ‘huh… mine says ‘50’. What does that even mean?’ And then Matt fell of his chair, kinda yelling: ’50!? You have 50?’. So I guess he was quite impressed. Or scared. Because apparently, that number tells something about how I’m an influence to my network… I’m so sorry for y’all… But hold on, it gets worse.

According to Klout… there are 2 top topics at this moment, that I’m really influential about… Apple pie and humor…. I know… Oh my God, don’t cry!!

I guess we all need to look at this the bright side… you’ll never learn how to bake an apple pie, but at least you’re gonna laugh about it. And it could have been worse, you know. So far, clown porn doesn’t appear in the lists.

PS: Also today: As Christina is having a conversation that I myself had nothing to do with:

Chris: so… how high would you have to put it?

Lady: oh, I’d say… the hight of a  6’ tall man?

Me: Huh. There are no 6’ tall men in New York.

*all eyes on me*

Me again: was that out loud?

That was a remark that made nobody feel uncomfortable.

PPS: CHOCOLATE!! There was chocolate too…

Yeah… as if I wasn’t going to be greedy when it has Neuhaus on it and praliné in it…

Tags:apple pie, clown porn, don t cry, gonna laugh, orange box, upbeat song